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[Note: This material is copyright by the Press-Citizen, and is reproduced here as a matter of "fair use" for non-commercial, educational purposes only. Any other use may require the prior approval of the Iowa City Press-Citizen.]

In good times if you ask an Iowa Citian who the regents are they will answer without missing a beat, "Isn't that the name of the athletic teams from Regina High School?" But now most Iowa City residents, Iowans for that matter, not only know who the regents are, they also have a nice comfy two by four that they'd like to give Gartner and his sidekick teresa wahlert (who doesn't use capitals in her mass e-mails to the university) a ride on to the Iowa border.

In case you missed it, the regents met by telephone last week for about five minutes -- that's all their calling plan allowed -- and decided to trash all the hard work by the presidential advisory group from the UI community and toss aside the four candidates the group had recommended. The regents seem to have broken Iowa's open meeting laws by "continuing" a closed session meeting over a series of days. Rumor has it that the real business of the Board of Regents is conducted by text message between Gartner and Wahlert during bathroom breaks.

Gartner: Stoopid UI profs, lets higher biznizman, not skolar :)

Wahlert: yeah, poynty heds, thatll sho them LOL:)

Leaving aside the interesting question of why the regents worked so hard to undermine Skorton, the heart of the matter here is why did the board feel it necessary to change the presidential search process that has worked so well at UI? People in Des Moines insist that nobody gets to choose their own boss; rude ones have even compared a university-led search to putting the monkeys in charge of the zoo. However, this is the process that chose all of the presidents I am aware of, and my memory goes back to the beloved Sandy Boyd -- the first time.

However, the Board of Regents, under Vilsack appointees, has moved aggressively to assert its authority, foisting a new president on UNI and choosing a president at ISU who is pursuing fiscal management policies designed to tie the university in knots and convert it into a business that might educate students and raise cows if it has time.

The present governor has pushed the universities hard to be economic development engines. Yet, as one of the dudes at the gym points out -- the regents schools train nearly every doctor, lawyer, veterinarian and teacher in the state. Isn't that economic development? Add that to the droves of out-of-state students who come to Iowa for our great education. Mayor Daley even has a second office in Iowa City for all the Chicago students to pay their parking tickets.

Despite the economic reductionism of Gartner, Wahlert and Vilsack, some things that UI does cannot be expressed in simple dollars and cents. How much money has the International Writing Program earned by making the state of Iowa synonymous with culture and creativity in every country in the world? Do we get any royalties from the Van Allen radiation belts surrounding Earth? And I strongly suspect that the Old Capitol would turn more of a profit if it went condo.

I am not saying that UI shouldn't be run efficiently and with an eye to providing a decent return on the public money invested in higher education. I am saying that it's way past time to start a search committee for new regents leadership. In case anyone is interested, I am available, and my phone has text messaging.
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Writers' Group member Duncan Stewart is a member of the UI Staff Council and founder of the Sandy Boyd Fan Club.