Note: Humor breaks are scattered throughout the Nicholas
Johnson Home Page because of his belief in relief -- even from the scintillating
content of his own page. They are not his creation; they are from
the Internet flow. "Authors" are not deliberately omitted; almost
always they are simply unknown. Contributors are not identified to
protect the innocent and preserve their privacy; they will, of course,
be credited if they tell me they would like to be. Enjoy. Search
the Nicholas Johnson Home Page to see how many "Humor Breaks" you can find.
If you'd like to contribute one yourself, or otherwise comment, please
write me at 1035393@mcimail.com
Thanks. -- Nicholas Johnson
This is the transcript of an ACTUAL radio conversation of a US Naval
ship with Canadian authorities off the coast of Newfoundland in October,
1995.
**** Radio conversation released by the Chief of Naval Operations 10-10-95.
Americans: Please divert your course 15
degrees to the North to avoid a collision.
Canadians: Recommend you divert YOUR course
15 degrees to the South to avoid a collision. Americans: This is the Captain of a US
Navy ship. I say again, divert YOUR course.
Canadians: No. I say again, you divert
YOUR course.
Americans: THIS IS THE AIRCRAFT CARRIER
USS LINCOLN, THE SECOND LARGEST SHIP IN THE UNITED STATES' ATLANTIC FLEET.
WE ARE ACCOMPANIED BY THREE DESTROYERS, THREE CRUISERS AND NUMEROUS
SUPPORT VESSELS. I DEMAND THAT YOU CHANGE YOUR COURSE 15 DEGREES NORTH,
THAT'S ONE FIVE DEGREES NORTH, OR COUNTER-MEASURES WILL BE UNDERTAKEN TO
ENSURE THE SAFETY OF THIS SHIP.